1. Have an Italian woman gift you a watermelon.
  2. Wait three to four days to cut up the watermelon.
  3. Place the watermelon chunks in a bowl, cover, put in fridge.
  4. Wait one week.
  5. During 90ºF weather, allow your refrigerator to break for two to three days.
  6. Do not remove watermelon from refrigerator for another three to four days.
  7. Remove the cover from the container.
  8. Vomit everywhere.

Seriously, I couldn’t even take a picture of it.